So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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