hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
