Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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