just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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