Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i don't like sucking hair
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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