I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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