My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
