it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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