I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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