I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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