rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
