Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
