I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
