your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dicks are not precious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
