At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
