Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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