What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
