ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize