that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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