He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
