everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
