Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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