Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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