i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How's work?
Spinning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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