Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
