Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
