doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
