I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize