I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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