it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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