Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
