Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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