no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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