He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
