I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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