We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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