So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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