Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
