Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
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i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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