So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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