Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's always time for handjobs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize