just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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