So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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