i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
