I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
