I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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