Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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