it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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