p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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