is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I understand Curling. That high.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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