so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he was CRYING into my vagina
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
