you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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