She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
