around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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