1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
