see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
