So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
