It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
