I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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