My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
