I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
