I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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